There was so much to miss. There were a lot of memories, and the harder I try to make myself believe that I care less about them, the more I bleed with nostalgia. There was so much to miss and to continually remember. It was hard to let go.
We did not have a tragic run. Ours was special. I believe that we do not measure the greatness of a relationship in the outcome but more on the shared experiences and the accumulated memories. Thus, ours was special, something that we would continually miss.
Still, despite everything shared, we reached an unexpected turn. It did not end; rather, it continued its mediocre ups and trench-deep downs. It was unhealthy and made us really sick. True enough, life and love are roller coaster rides: they make us vomit.
What followed was a series of uncertainty. We did not know what to do, where to go, and what to feel. We did not know where to go from where we were. It was just bitterly and stubbornly and painfully stagnant. We were trapped in the misery that we ourselves have created. We created shackles out of our pain and clasped them to our own arms. We were prisoners of our own selves.
I arrived at a realization that the only way to escape this limbo is through acceptance. The future is yet to come and we do not know for sure what lies ahead. But for now, what we know is that we should accept the taking shape of things. For us to escape the traps of the past, we have to live here and now. For us to establish better relationships between each other and towards other people, we have to accept and understand that things have happened and that things happen.
Thus, I am letting go not of the memories but of all the hate, bitterness, and pain. I am finally letting go of everything that can only bring us down as I continually hold on to the memories that we have built together. Hopefully, at the time you deem perfect, you will, too.